I lost my Dad, a year ago today. It does not seem possible that an entire year has passed. Yet, time seems to have that magical characteristic of standing still at the moment. Then as the moments meld together the minutes become hours, then days, weeks, months and years.Shortly after his death, I posted my thoughts about him, which I have re-posted on this version of Messenger and Advocate. I’ve re-created it as a permanent page, above, where it will remain in perpetuity.
As I’ve reflected on this one year anniversary of his death, I’ve wondered what profound insights I might post. I’m not sure I have anything profound to say, that I didn’t already try to express in my original post about him. I am still influenced for the good by him and his example. I still think of him–probably daily. I still miss him a great deal. Yet, I still believe there will come a time and a place where again we will meet, and enjoy each other’s company as a family.
As I was reading in Bushman’s Rough Stone Rolling this morning, I was particularly struck by this passage, as it made me think of Dad, and our entire family–all families actually:
And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.
Of course this is also found in D&C 130:2. I think it natural to project forward to a time of re-unification with departed loved ones. But, I also think it is important to reflect as well on the here and the now. Life does go forward, and I have taken some time at this anniversary to reflect on my own life, where I am, where I would like to be, and my Dad’s influence on all those areas of reflection.
I feel now, as I did a year ago, the best I can do is to grasp and try to live the most basic of the Gospel principles: Faith, Repentence, Baptism, and Gift of the Holy Ghost.
Faith–I continue on a daily basis to hope for things which are not seen, but, which are true. As I don’t have a perfect knowledge of very much in this life, this is a pretty wide open area for me, and one in which I continue to strive and struggle every minute of every day.
Repentance–Again, an area with which I seem to gain a greater familiarity, every day. The opportunity of repentence during mortality’s probation is a great gift, of which I am extremely grateful, yet about which I understand little. The Atonement which bore the fruit of repentence is at times just beyond my comprehension.
Baptism–Coupled with Faith and Repentence is again something through the Atonement I am able to experience weekly as I partake of the Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper. Though certainly I am not physically baptized each week, I can if I want, participate in an ordinance that mirrors those baptismal covenants.
Gift of the Holy Ghost–Another incredible principle about which I think I am only beginning to scratch the surface. There are times during which I have with as much certainty as mortality allows felt this gift. Attendance at and participation in the Temple seems to coincide nicely with experiencing the Spirit. While I don’t understand all the mechanics about how it works or why, I am convinced that each of us is entitled to received all light, truth, and knowledge through the whisperings of this spirit. This, I believe was impressed upon my Dad’s mind the last several years of his life, as he served as a Temple worker. So much to learn and live–so little time.
As I expressed a year ago, I remain grateful for a life well lived, and examples well taught, as I try to go and do likewise.